cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize