opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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