You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
