Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
