His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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