Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
