It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
