Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
