Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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