ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
