I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
