do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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