Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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