the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
