i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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