reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize