Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
