wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
