we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize