8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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