I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
