My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
