Welp...herpes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
