I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My life is pants optional.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
