Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
