hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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