I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
