Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize