Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
