I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
