to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
