for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Boobs are out for the taking
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
