I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
