i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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