I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
