im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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