the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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