the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize