So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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