Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
