she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
