I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize