so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
