I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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