so explain again why im purple
no
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
