I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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