To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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