I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
