either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
