If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
