I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I look better un-naked...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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