This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
