theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize