no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
