I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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