It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
