and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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