dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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