Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We need to get me chipped asap
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
