My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
