i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
