Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
bring money and cleavage
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
