were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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