doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
