remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Panties = found
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