shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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