I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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